4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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