I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
