I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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