you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
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What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
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You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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