Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
