A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
