It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
