Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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