I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
