Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
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I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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