It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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