I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
