i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
