4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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