Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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