my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
