So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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