I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
