My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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