i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
