Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it because I queefed?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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