When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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