So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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