Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
