You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
