we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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