He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
