All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bring money and cleavage
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
