I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
