I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize