I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
