i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize