It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
