why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
