I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize