I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
