Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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  (917): someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week. http://tfl.nu/uy84
  Replies (6) Good night (4086) Bad night (1126)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.

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  (843): It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora. http://tfl.nu/zv3b
  Replies (16) Good night (2862) Bad night (1151)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!

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  (+49): They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany! http://tfl.nu/9nli
  Replies (14) Good night (6847) Bad night (1253)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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  (774): I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress http://tfl.nu/bwko
  Replies (6) Good night (2148) Bad night (950)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.

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  (817): My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give. http://tfl.nu/lewe
  Replies (11) Good night (4345) Bad night (958)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.

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  (720): I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team. http://tfl.nu/53x1
  Replies (11) Good night (3197) Bad night (1032)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took

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  (780): Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took http://tfl.nu/mwwf
  Replies (8) Good night (2422) Bad night (783)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

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  (803): I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches. http://tfl.nu/mo6q
  Replies (22) Good night (1791) Bad night (972)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

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  (615): I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister http://tfl.nu/e4ue
  Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (750)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.

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  (210): Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning. http://tfl.nu/jk8r
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (406)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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  (541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (534)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'

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  (440): Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.' http://tfl.nu/rdeh
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (500)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.

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  (440): I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic. http://tfl.nu/5vs6
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (394)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.

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  (713): I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure. http://tfl.nu/7i22
  Replies (5) Good night (317) Bad night (437)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner

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  (727): i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner http://tfl.nu/vzvw
  Replies (7) Good night (1120) Bad night (288)

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