Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.