Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.