Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.

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  (937): Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes. http://tfl.nu/4vss
  Replies (16) Good night (689) Bad night (2211)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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  (404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv
  Replies (124) Good night (6051) Bad night (980)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.

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  (402): I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members. http://tfl.nu/ande
  Replies (19) Good night (1888) Bad night (3705)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work

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  (+44): He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work http://tfl.nu/peex
  Replies (3) Good night (1029) Bad night (3287)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?

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  (303): So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door? http://tfl.nu/on5x
  Replies (8) Good night (4307) Bad night (997)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.

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  (416): you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall. http://tfl.nu/i92r
  Replies (11) Good night (4546) Bad night (1011)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

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  (724): You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room. http://tfl.nu/1sdd
  Replies (7) Good night (1194) Bad night (3500)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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  (972): I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night. http://tfl.nu/hauh
  Replies (8) Good night (2289) Bad night (782)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.

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  (570): You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter. http://tfl.nu/i6dh
  Replies (7) Good night (2155) Bad night (647)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

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  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1578) Bad night (531)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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  (303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv
  Replies (12) Good night (1978) Bad night (506)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.

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  (202): I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs. http://tfl.nu/lsp5
  Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (436)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was so scary.

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  (405): I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out. (405): It was so scary. http://tfl.nu/0h8m
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (351)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."

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  (859): Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace." http://tfl.nu/re9p
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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  (310): Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent. http://tfl.nu/z8ey
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (285)

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