Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

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  (631): we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility http://tfl.nu/kdjh
  Replies (11) Good night (3365) Bad night (1037)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(

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  (732): Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :( http://tfl.nu/fasb
  Replies (8) Good night (1035) Bad night (3062)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.

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  (313): We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn. http://tfl.nu/k4mq
  Replies (28) Good night (1505) Bad night (3414)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen

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  (443): you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/4avg
  Replies (9) Good night (2147) Bad night (787)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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  (618): Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly. http://tfl.nu/ma4l
  Replies (2) Good night (2076) Bad night (2073)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?

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  (501): I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one? http://tfl.nu/9wky
  Replies (13) Good night (1271) Bad night (1939)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done

  (760): View more from California

  Victory lap

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  (646): Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done (760): Victory lap http://tfl.nu/nhvd
  Replies (5) Good night (3033) Bad night (750)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

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  (508): I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur. (512): That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot? http://tfl.nu/yofn
  Replies (10) Good night (2845) Bad night (647)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.

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  (440): I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation. http://tfl.nu/4dbg
  Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (666)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world

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  (+61): I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world http://tfl.nu/cuud
  Replies (1) Good night (840) Bad night (435)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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  (519): And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication. http://tfl.nu/rgq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1039) Bad night (484)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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  (701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft
  Replies (8) Good night (1111) Bad night (491)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.

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  (317): My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication. http://tfl.nu/vmvq
  Replies (4) Good night (766) Bad night (230)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  it's too much effort for something that isn't food.

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  (864): it's too much effort for something that isn't food. http://tfl.nu/kjmt
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (236)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box

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  (423): Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box http://tfl.nu/1krj
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (235)

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