Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
