We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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