I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
