I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
