awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
