I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
