you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
