It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
