the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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