Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am available for nakedness
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
