Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
