i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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