I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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