Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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