and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize