this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
