I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
