....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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