thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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