she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
