I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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