I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
