these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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