so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A+ Viking dick
All the doctor said was why
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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