all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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