I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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