Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
